Friday, 1 March 2013


Dear Patron of The Arts,

Thank you for coming to my silly little show.  I know you're busy, and I’m sorry you couldn’t catch the whole thing, but I do hope you enjoyed the twenty minutes of Fringe Theatre you were able to sneak into your evening.  What a hoot, hey?

I hope you got home safe.  I hope you didn’t scratch the paint parking, or forget to turn the headlights off.  I hope you weren't too put out when you mixed up your toothpaste and haemorrhoid cream.  I hope the bedbugs didn’t bite.  I hope no possum wriggled through the cat flap to piddle on your sofa.  I hope the expensive wine you drank wont keep charging in the morning.  I hope the call that drags you out of bed isn’t a telemarketer.  I hope there’s no screaming kids in your favourite café.  I hope no one spits in your coffee.  I hope they don’t fart on your eggs.  Honest.    


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